BLOODY VALENTINE'S
by sisters-of-insanity
Summary: What if Nodame was gone in Chiaki's life, but in the future, Chiaki saw Nodame, however, in a different person, in a foreign country, speaking another language, only for Chiaki to find out that she's already married to a man? Will they end up together?
1. Chapter 1 PRISONER OF THE PAST

Hi everyone! This is my first fan fiction for Nodame Cantabile. Most of the time, the story is focused on Chiaki's point of view, on the other hand, I will also include Nodame's point of view and some of the supporting character's point of view. For now, Chiaki is the limelight of this story. I will be releasing the next chapters of my story because I'm currently brainstorming of the possible scenarios, my wild imagination could think of! ^_^

Hope you enjoy reading my story! Have fun!

**Plot / Summary of the Story:**

Valentine's Day is a special occasion shared by couples and lovers. It is really great to spend just one day with your loved one, and the intimacy between two people in love is considered sacred. What if on Valentine's Day, the day which Chiaki and Nodame should spend with each other never happened, because Nodame never arrived on that day. What if Nodame was gone in Chiaki's life, but in the near future, Chiaki saw Nodame, however, in a different person, in a foreign country, speaking another language, only for Chiaki to find out that she's already married to a man? Faced with these dilemmas, will they still end up together?

_The setting is in Chiaki's room, in his mother's apartment in Paris, and how the events in the past have greatly influenced the present situation of Chiaki._

* * *

**CHAPTER 1 PRISONER OF THE PAST**

* * *

**Chiaki's Point of View:  
**

**Age: Shinichi Chiaki, 32 years old; Noda Megumi, 32 years old**

_**Friday, 14**__**th**__** of February, year 2015**_

I have recently finished my European tour with Stresseman. I'm really exhausted. I could not believe that Elise is such a heartless woman. She's driving me crazy, forcefully pushing me to conduct orchestras simultaneously without a rest. I'm almost at my limit. Does she intend to kill me or what? But it can't be helped. Like that woman possess a heart, though I only know that what she truly love in this world, money. Yeah, I really don't care anymore. I just want to keep on moving forward even if I'm running to it aimlessly, without direction. I need something to distract me so I recklessly accepted all Elise's request without complaints. Right, seems like obeying blindly has become a habit of mine until it became a disease.

Tonight, I'm cooking tomato soup with croutons. I have been used to eating my dinner by myself, but I'm not feeling quite well these past few days. I have that unexplainable yearning to see Nodame happily eating the dish I made and praising me like I was some God to her.

"_Sempai! Wow! This is really delicious! You're a better cook than my oka-san! You're amazing sempai! I'm sure I will have no regrets being your wife!"_

Nodame exclaimed as she gobbled the whole plate as if it was nothing.

"_Hey! Hey! Watch it! Your food is spilling on the table, it may stain my tablecloth. You know how much dry cleaning cost these days! And one more thing, WHO SAYS I'M MARRIED TO YOU? Quit yapping and get to work! You weird girl!"_

As Chiaki said that, he immediately turned his face away from Nodame's view. His face is really irritated, yet he is blushing and smiling secretly…

Those were the days when Nodame was still around. Life became brighter and easier since Nodame became a part of my life. I was really hurt by what my father did to my mother. I still couldn't believe what I saw in my father's room that day. At that time, I realized the ugly truth that nothing lasts forever, including love. At the age of 12 years old, somehow I developed mistrust to other people. I became a withdrawn person; practicing social isolation is the way of how I live my life, to protect myself of getting hurt. So whenever there is someone who wanted to get close to me, I try every possible way of cutting all my ties with that person. You see, I often abandon them first before everything gets out of my hands. Denying the fact that I was horribly traumatized by my father's separation with my mother, I've gradually turned to a cold person, only concentrating to become perfect and always prioritizing my achievements, until I lost my humanity. But Nodame was different. The sorrow in my heart, the emptiness within me, Nodame filled that void. She was the only one who had never left my side, even if I had one of my worst times of my life. She was always there, cheering me up, constantly reminding me that I was loved and accepted – the one thing that I need the most. As I spent time with her, slowly bit by bit, Nodame cured everything, as she changed my way of thinking, my whole personality, inside out. Nodame was just like some brand of drug – my very own panacea.

Five years has passed, I'm still staying in my mother's apartment in Paris for I find it very convenient to stay in one place, besides I only pay for the food and searching an apartment in Paris is just a waste of time, even though that's what everybody keeps telling me so that I can move on with my life. I always tell them that I'm doing fine but I guess they can see right through me. I'm grateful Saiko would drop by to check things up on me and cook breakfast for me. She was always there for me, but I doubt her sincerity. She's only doing this since I'm now well known worldwide as one of the greatest and youngest conductor. I even become one of those people featured by Time magazine. To me, they are nothing but mere titles and labels, just a decoration, but to Saiko it's something she can be proud of, something she can brag to her circle of friends.

"_Shinichi, have you heard of the latest gossip?"_

Saiko chuckled while adding the onions and garlic in the saucepan.

"_Mmmm…this surely smells good huh, Shinichi?"_

I can hear the sizzling sounds coming from the saucepan. Saiko is cooking slow-cooked Beef Bourguignon. Its one of my comfort food because it reminds me of my mother's cooking. When I'm eating this dish, I always pair it with the best full-bodied wine, Red Burgundy.

"_Ah…yeah sure…"_

I'm really glad that Saiko has been doing this everyday for me but…

"_Hey! You know what, I have been specially selected to be the main soprano in this upcoming opera, titled 'The Marriage of Figaro.' I'm going to play the role of Countess Rosina Almaviva. What do you think Shinichi?"_

Saiko turned off the stove and served me the scrumptious meal with a beaming face.

"_Bon appétit!"_

Saiko accidentally spilled the dish to my shirt. I think she was too excited to serve the Beef Bourguignon that she forgot to wear a pot holder to protect her hands from the scalding heat.

"_Ooops! Oh dear! I'm really sorry Shinichi! I spilled it on your favorite shirt. Ahh…uhm…"_

Saiko hurriedly wiped off the stain from my shirt with her hands trembling.

"_(Sighs) What do I do? How do I remove the stain?"_

Saiko is very worried and continues apologizing to Chiaki.

"_I'm really sorry Shinichi. It's my fault that you got into this mess. I should have worn the pot holder but I forgot everything else because I was too excited to share with you my good news. Really Shinichi, I think you're my lucky charm since I have been receiving these blessings the moment we were together again. I'm just elated that we managed to regain what we had lost before and…"_

"_Saiko, you don't need to do this. It's really alright. I know you didn't mean to do this."_

As I was saying those words. I can feel the sadness in her eyes.

"_Shinichi, I'm truly sorry. I know that you really love this shirt since this is a gift from…"_

"_Saiko, didn't you heard what I've just said? I said it's alright. I'm fine. You don't have to worry that much for me."_

I know it's natural that Saiko will worry for me because were a couple now, however I can't be my regular self when I'm with her. I feel guilty every time were together because I'm lying to myself. Because every time I'm with her, I'm trying to convince myself that I really, really, really love her but I could not. I'm such a hypocrite and what I'm doing right now is unfair to her and to everyone else. I've got no choice. I need to move on with my life but since the day that Nodame left me, my time has stopped moving.

"_Ahmmm…Shinichi, its not that I'm being nosy but how long will you be behaving like that? I mean you're acting like this every single day. Don't you get tired of it? I know that I don't have the right to know your private thoughts but Shinichi!"_

"_What! Saiko? What do you mean by that?"_

"_I know that you clearly know what I mean Shinichi…"_

"_Saiko, I think this is enough for now. Come again tomorrow."_

Chiaki stood up from the dining table and went to his bedroom. He closed the door.

Bang!

"_Shinichi! But you barely eaten the meal I cooked for you! Come on! Don't you know that I asked your mother's help just to cook this for you!"_

"_Leave me alone!"_

"_But!"_

"_Saiko please…just… let… me… be…"_

"_But Shinichi! It's already been 5 years! 5 years Shinichi!_

_Ah! I'm sorry Shinichi. I didn't mean to say that…"_

"_I know that its already been 5 years. You don't need to say that to my face!"_

"_Shinichi…"_

There was a moment of silence. To us, this silence reminds us of the present and the harsh reality that Saiko must accept helplessly.

"_For a moment, I thought that I have become closer to you. Guess I was wrong, huh?"_

I feel pity for Saiko. I know she's trying her best for me. She only wants me to be happy but I just couldn't end things just like that. And that awareness is like a wake up call of all of our pain and suffering, and evidence that what we had before are remnants of the past.

"_Shinichi…_

_Can I ask you a question before I go?"_

"_What's that?"_

"_Did you ever love me?"_

"_(Sighs) Yes…"_

"_But why can't I feel that Shinichi?"_

The present is just too much to bear between us. Slowly were becoming strangers… to ourselves…

"_All these years I've put my effort in getting closer to you, yet I already knew that no matter what I do, still she's the only one for you._

_I hope that some day…some day…you will open up your heart… to me…and give me a second chance…give our love a chance…"_

I could hear her footsteps fading as Saiko went out of the door. The door creaks slowly while I was listening to her plea.

"_Take care always Shinichi…_

_Goodbye…_

_And don't forget…that I love you…always…"_

I'm a terrible person. I know that what Saiko said to me just now was correct, yet I don't want to believe her words. Deep inside, I still don't have the courage to accept reality – the reality that Nodame no longer exist in this world. I do really want to change, but in order to do that, I must let go of everything that connects me to Nodame. I can't do that. It's too much to ask. It's like I'm insulting her existence. To me, the memories that we shared are so precious, it's akin to an oasis in the desert. I don't want Nodame's memories to become dead because her memories are still burning in my heart. For me, Nodame is still alive.

Everything began on that day, as I try to remember all the details. What happened on that fateful day was still fresh in my mind. I could clearly imagine the scenarios that were eternally etched in my mind. The day that I never hoped that would come to us.

**Age: Shinichi Chiaki, 27 years old; Noda Megumi, 27 years old**

_**Saturday, 13**__**th**__** of February, year 2010**_

I couldn't understand why it is a need to celebrate Valentine's Day. It's really a bother because buying a gift for Nodame seems to be an obligation. Indeed, I suck at choosing gifts for her since I really don't know what she really wants. To me, Valentine's Day is a commercialized holiday and has become a common practice for couples. Why can't she understand that we can spend each day as special and treat every day like Valentine's Day. Who needs Valentine's Day anyway? Geez, I can't understand women's thinking. Then again, I keep remembering the conversation we had on the phone.

"_Hello this is Nodame. I'm very sorry but currently Nodame is unavailable. Please try to call later. Goodbye!"_

"_Oi! Hey wait up! Nodame! Nodame don't hang up! This is Chiaki! Nodame? Are you still there? Oi!"_

"_Huh? Chiaki sempai?_

_Hmmm…_

_Aaaahhh! Hubby! __ How are you? __ Is everything alright? Heehee…"_

"_Nodame are you drinking right now? I told you not to touch sake. Even for a sip, you got that?"_

"_Nonsense! What are you talking about? I have never touched nor took a sip of sake._

_Ne, Masumi-san give me that! It's my turn already!_

_(Glug! Glug! Glug!)_

_Ah! Hic! Cheers! Heehee…"_

Aaarghh…What does she mean she never touched nor took a sip of sake? It's very clear to me that she's drunk! That woman will never change!

"_Nodame, listen. I'm strolling at Boulevard Haussmann, one of Paris' top department stores shopping district. Right now, I'm inside __Galleries Lafayette Coupole. I researched for the best designer jewelry and found it – Baccarat. I happen to pass by and at this time, I'm looking at their inventories. If you like, I'll buy you a gift for Valentine's Day. Tell me what do you want?"_

Now, why am I getting so nervous all of a sudden. I'm just keeping my promise. I'm going to buy an engagement ring and I will somehow pop out my proposal tomorrow to celebrate our recent debut as the _'Golden Pair.'_ Has it already been 2 years? I think this is now the right time to do that.

"_What does Nodame want? Hic! Wait sempai…_

_Hmmm…_

_Nodame only desire you…_

_Only you…_

_Shinichi…"_

"_Nodame! What are you doing? You're drooling! Your phone! Aaack! The phone is wet with your saliva! It's all over the place! Huh? Nodame! What's with that face? Don't you dare go and vomit to me!"_

"_Nodame doesn't feel good…Masumi-san? Sorry but…(vomit sounds)"_

"_Aaaahh! Kiyora! Help me! Nodame how could you? I didn't bring some extra clothes. Sheesh…Now I understand what's Chiaki have undergone because of you…"_

I can hear Masumi-san's voice on the phone. Seems like they're really having fun. I wish I can be with them right now but my hectic schedule won't allow for any luxury.

"_Hey! Masumi! How's life being a part of Philadelphia orchestra. I've heard from Mine that you're getting quite famous there. They even called you the 'Lovely Rose Timpanist' "._

"_Aaaahh! Chiaki-sama! So you've heard? Aaaahh! Yeah! The concertmaster gave me that name because he told me that I was the only rose among the thorns! Kyaaa!"_

Masumi-san also has never changed. Every one is still the same. I'm glad that I have met everyone.

"_Masumi! Is that Chiaki on the phone now? Can I have a __chitchat with my best man!"_

Masumi-san handed the phone to Mine-kun and went immediately to the washroom to rinse off the puke Nodame made.

"_Yo! How dare you only send emails to me! Didn't we agree to send me letters?"_

"_Who told you that I agreed on that? And what's wrong with sending emails? It's just the same."_

"_Chiaki, I prefer letters because I can read your thoughts written on a piece of paper and the emotions are there, that I can't help getting a bit teary eyed. Plus, it's your handwriting, Chiaki…"_

"_Will you cut it out! Enough with the sending-letters-and-emails stuff. By the way, I just want to congratulate you both. So how's the engagement party? I'm sorry I can't be with you guys, if only I could. It's because Elise already accepted those requests without my consent that got my schedule to be jam-packed."_

"_Nah…It's really alright man. You don't have to apologize. We understand. Its fine since Nodame is here with us, so it's kind of like you're here with us, too."_

"_Chiaki, how's it going between you and Nodame? Have you popped the big 'P' word to her? Its kind of sad that you've never gave her a reply at that day, you know. Nodame was really devastated."_

"_Mine you don't need to bring up the past. I know. I was wrong, thinking she was just playing around as usual. It never crossed my mind that she was dead serious at that time. So tomorrow I'm going to reconsider her proposal by officially proposing to her and give this engagement ring to her as proof of my undying love and sincerity."_

"_Oooohh! What the hell was that? Chiaki what bold words! How come I have never seen this side of you? You're actually a sensitive and emotional guy, eh?"_

"_Eherm! I don't know what you're talking about?"_

"_Aww! Come on, Chiaki! You don't need to hide the fact that you're totally head-over-heels towards Nodame and your feelings for her are overflowing. It's so obvious!"_

"_Just shut up!"_

"_Pffft! Hahaha! Chiaki you sly boy! Ok! Ok! I'm going to stop teasing you, though I find it quite entertaining! Hahaha! You're really something!"_

"_Mine stop that will yah? I'm sorry Chiaki. He's been acting weird these past few days. It's like he's been taking drugs."_

After Kiyora finished taking care of Nodame, she went to Mine to talk to Chiaki. It has been a while since Chiaki has talked with his friends.

"_Kiyora! Why can't you understand? I'm just feeling euphoric these days because were finally getting closer to our final destination – to our marriage. I doubt you're not feeling what I'm feeling right now?"_

"_Yeah…we feel the same. So Chiaki when will you propose to Nodame? You better be! I and Mine are rooting for the both of you so we wish you good luck!"_

"_Chiaki my man! Don't be late for the race because you're going to catch up with us! What are you waiting for? Run faster towards your goal!"_

"_Thanks for the encouragement guys. This time I'm really going to do it, for sure. Well bye!"_

Suddenly, I'm having mixed feelings – I'm feeling anxious and excited of my proposal to Nodame. I can't wait to see Nodame and hug her tight and whisper 'I love you.' Starting tomorrow, everything will change as we begin a new chapter of our lives. Until that incident happened…

_This chapter is about how Chiaki deals with the sudden loss of Nodame and how he expresses his grief. He undergoes internal turmoil as he desperately tries his best to cope up with the present circumstances._

* * *

**CHAPTER 2 GOODBYE, MY LOVE**

* * *

**Chiaki's Point of View:  
**

**Age: Shinichi Chiaki, 27 years old; Noda Megumi, 27 years old**

**_Saturday, 6th of February, year 2010_**

It is an ordinary morning, nothing special is going on. Everything seems so peaceful. I can hear someone playing Edvard Grieg's Peer Gynt, Suite No. 1, Op. 46: _'Morning Mood'_ on the piano. This piece takes me back to my memory lane, Edvard Grieg is best known for his Piano Concerto in A minor, for his incidental music to Henrik Ibsen's play Peer Gynt. Hearing that piece somehow relaxes my mind. I'm having a lucid dream, as I watch myself soaring over the great blue sky with the birds. The clouds are within my grasp while I'm breathing the air that surrounds me, it feels so invigorating. Nevertheless, something is peculiar, with how it is played, in some way it reminds me of Nodame.

_"Nodame?"_

_"Huh? Chiaki sempai? Did you just call Nodame?"_

Nodame is playing the piece beautifully. The way she plays it now is entirely on a different level, than when we first met inJapan. I have witnessed Nodame's metamorphosis, from a caterpillar that undergoes the chrysalis stage, and finally becoming an exquisite butterfly.

_"Yes. Nodame don't you have any piano recitals today? How about your approaching piano concertos?"_

_"Do you mean our piano concerto Chiaki sempai?"_

While Nodame is saying that I can see her radiant smile. Looks like I have been caught.

_"What do you mean our piano concerto? Where did you hear that?"_

_"Chiaki sempai you're wrong! It's not where did you hear that, it's you who actually said that. Don't you remember what we had talked last night? Hmph! You meanie!"_

Nodame was pouting because I had easily forgotten our tête-à-tête last night. You see, Nodame and I are having recollections of the events that have transpired on that day because what happened on that day was memorable to both of us. We achieved the success of our first piano concerto and our grand debut as the _'Golden Pair'_. We made our piano concerto a Christmas special, featuring Pyotr Il'yich Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker Suite, Op.71:

1. Overture

Act I

2. The Christmas Tree

3. March

4. Gallop and Dance of the Parents

5. Dance Scene - The Presents of Drosselmeyer

6. Scene - Grandfather Dance

7. Clara and the Nutcracker

8. The Nutcracker battles against the Army of the Mouse King - He wins and is transformed into Prince Charming

9. In the Christmas Tree

10. Scene and Waltz of the Snowflakes

Act II

11. TheMagicCastleon theMountainofSweets

12. Clara and Prince Charming

13. Character Dances (Divertissement):

Coffee (Arabian Dance)Tea (Chinese Dance)Trepak (Russian Dance)Dance of the Reed Pipes

14. Waltz of the Flowers

15. Dance of the SugarPlumFairy

16. Closing Waltz - Grand Finale

We performed together with the Roux-Marlet Orchestra and it lasted for a whole day. Our piano concerto was always fully booked and it became so popular with the crowd that they appealed to us to make it three days. Only Nodame strongly rejected to the idea, thinking that it was outrageous, but Nodame quickly changes her mind after hearing the audiences' praises about her magnificent piano playing.

Maybe this was not a bad idea after all. I thought everything would go to waste. I was thinking that our piano concerto was too early and Nodame was not yet prepared for it.

_"Nodame, its best to think things over. Don't let your emotions override you. Our piano concerto should be planned first."_

_"But sempai when will we be able to do it? Does sempai know what Nodame felt when Nodame knew that you and Son Rui are going to have a piano concerto? Nodame was jealous sempai…jealous that your first piano concerto was not Nodame but her!"_

_"Nodame I think we should…"_

_"Sempai, Nodame knows that Nodame is being selfish right now but if you won't do this, what's the use of the promise we made back then? Why do you always run away from these things sempai? Nodame can't wait any longer!"_

_"Nodame…its just that…I think we should not rush things. I don't think we can do it yet. Nodame, I don't want to disappoint you. I don't want our piano concerto to be a failure. I'm sorry Nodame…"_

I don't want to do it because I felt I don't have enough confidence to face this challenge. I was also afraid that Nodame won't accept me if I failed her expectations.

_"Sorry? Chiaki sempai you should not lose faith. Are you having doubts that we could not make it together? Sempai, for once, Nodame never thought of that to happen. Nodame have always believed in sempai."_

_"Nodame…"_

Suddenly, Nodame embraced Chiaki tightly. Chiaki could feel the warmth emanating from her body, the gush of air she breathes, the scent of shampoo in her hair. Chiaki was overwhelmed by his own sensations of Nodame and at the same time he felt at ease, somehow Nodame's embrace became Chiaki's solace.

_"No matter what happens, Nodame won't change._

_ Chiaki sempai…I love you…"_

When Nodame uttered those words, all of my fears and insecurities vanished. I realized that all of my actions and decisions in my life, were greatly influenced by Nodame. She was everything to me...


	2. Chapter 2 GOODBYE, MY LOVE

Hi everyone! This is my first fan fiction for Nodame Cantabile. Most of the time, the story is focused on Chiaki's point of view, on the other hand, I will also include Nodame's point of view and some of the supporting character's point of view. For now, Chiaki is the limelight of this story. I will be releasing the next chapters of my story because I'm currently brainstorming of the possible scenarios, my wild imagination could think of! ^_^

Hope you enjoy reading my story! Have fun!

**Plot / Summary of the Story:**

Valentine's Day is a special occasion shared by couples and lovers. It is really great to spend just one day with your loved one, and the intimacy between two people in love is considered sacred. What if on Valentine's Day, the day which Chiaki and Nodame should spend with each other never happened, because Nodame never arrived on that day. What if Nodame was gone in Chiaki's life, but in the near future, Chiaki saw Nodame, however, in a different person, in a foreign country, speaking another language, only for Chiaki to find out that she's already married to a man? Faced with these dilemmas, will they still end up together?

_The setting is in Chiaki's room, in his mother's apartment in Paris, and how the events in the past have greatly influenced the present situation of Chiaki._

* * *

**CHAPTER 1 PRISONER OF THE PAST**

* * *

**Chiaki's Point of View:  
**

**Age: Shinichi Chiaki, 32 years old; Noda Megumi, 32 years old**

_**Friday, 14**__**th**__** of February, year 2015**_

I have recently finished my European tour with Stresseman. I'm really exhausted. I could not believe that Elise is such a heartless woman. She's driving me crazy, forcefully pushing me to conduct orchestras simultaneously without a rest. I'm almost at my limit. Does she intend to kill me or what? But it can't be helped. Like that woman possess a heart, though I only know that what she truly love in this world, money. Yeah, I really don't care anymore. I just want to keep on moving forward even if I'm running to it aimlessly, without direction. I need something to distract me so I recklessly accepted all Elise's request without complaints. Right, seems like obeying blindly has become a habit of mine until it became a disease.

Tonight, I'm cooking tomato soup with croutons. I have been used to eating my dinner by myself, but I'm not feeling quite well these past few days. I have that unexplainable yearning to see Nodame happily eating the dish I made and praising me like I was some God to her.

"_Sempai! Wow! This is really delicious! You're a better cook than my oka-san! You're amazing sempai! I'm sure I will have no regrets being your wife!"_

Nodame exclaimed as she gobbled the whole plate as if it was nothing.

"_Hey! Hey! Watch it! Your food is spilling on the table, it may stain my tablecloth. You know how much dry cleaning cost these days! And one more thing, WHO SAYS I'M MARRIED TO YOU? Quit yapping and get to work! You weird girl!"_

As Chiaki said that, he immediately turned his face away from Nodame's view. His face is really irritated, yet he is blushing and smiling secretly…

Those were the days when Nodame was still around. Life became brighter and easier since Nodame became a part of my life. I was really hurt by what my father did to my mother. I still couldn't believe what I saw in my father's room that day. At that time, I realized the ugly truth that nothing lasts forever, including love. At the age of 12 years old, somehow I developed mistrust to other people. I became a withdrawn person; practicing social isolation is the way of how I live my life, to protect myself of getting hurt. So whenever there is someone who wanted to get close to me, I try every possible way of cutting all my ties with that person. You see, I often abandon them first before everything gets out of my hands. Denying the fact that I was horribly traumatized by my father's separation with my mother, I've gradually turned to a cold person, only concentrating to become perfect and always prioritizing my achievements, until I lost my humanity. But Nodame was different. The sorrow in my heart, the emptiness within me, Nodame filled that void. She was the only one who had never left my side, even if I had one of my worst times of my life. She was always there, cheering me up, constantly reminding me that I was loved and accepted – the one thing that I need the most. As I spent time with her, slowly bit by bit, Nodame cured everything, as she changed my way of thinking, my whole personality, inside out. Nodame was just like some brand of drug – my very own panacea.

Five years has passed, I'm still staying in my mother's apartment in Paris for I find it very convenient to stay in one place, besides I only pay for the food and searching an apartment in Paris is just a waste of time, even though that's what everybody keeps telling me so that I can move on with my life. I always tell them that I'm doing fine but I guess they can see right through me. I'm grateful Saiko would drop by to check things up on me and cook breakfast for me. She was always there for me, but I doubt her sincerity. She's only doing this since I'm now well known worldwide as one of the greatest and youngest conductor. I even become one of those people featured by Time magazine. To me, they are nothing but mere titles and labels, just a decoration, but to Saiko it's something she can be proud of, something she can brag to her circle of friends.

"_Shinichi, have you heard of the latest gossip?"_

Saiko chuckled while adding the onions and garlic in the saucepan.

"_Mmmm…this surely smells good huh, Shinichi?"_

I can hear the sizzling sounds coming from the saucepan. Saiko is cooking slow-cooked Beef Bourguignon. Its one of my comfort food because it reminds me of my mother's cooking. When I'm eating this dish, I always pair it with the best full-bodied wine, Red Burgundy.

"_Ah…yeah sure…"_

I'm really glad that Saiko has been doing this everyday for me but…

"_Hey! You know what, I have been specially selected to be the main soprano in this upcoming opera, titled 'The Marriage of Figaro.' I'm going to play the role of Countess Rosina Almaviva. What do you think Shinichi?"_

Saiko turned off the stove and served me the scrumptious meal with a beaming face.

"_Bon appétit!"_

Saiko accidentally spilled the dish to my shirt. I think she was too excited to serve the Beef Bourguignon that she forgot to wear a pot holder to protect her hands from the scalding heat.

"_Ooops! Oh dear! I'm really sorry Shinichi! I spilled it on your favorite shirt. Ahh…uhm…"_

Saiko hurriedly wiped off the stain from my shirt with her hands trembling.

"_(Sighs) What do I do? How do I remove the stain?"_

Saiko is very worried and continues apologizing to Chiaki.

"_I'm really sorry Shinichi. It's my fault that you got into this mess. I should have worn the pot holder but I forgot everything else because I was too excited to share with you my good news. Really Shinichi, I think you're my lucky charm since I have been receiving these blessings the moment we were together again. I'm just elated that we managed to regain what we had lost before and…"_

"_Saiko, you don't need to do this. It's really alright. I know you didn't mean to do this."_

As I was saying those words. I can feel the sadness in her eyes.

"_Shinichi, I'm truly sorry. I know that you really love this shirt since this is a gift from…"_

"_Saiko, didn't you heard what I've just said? I said it's alright. I'm fine. You don't have to worry that much for me."_

I know it's natural that Saiko will worry for me because were a couple now, however I can't be my regular self when I'm with her. I feel guilty every time were together because I'm lying to myself. Because every time I'm with her, I'm trying to convince myself that I really, really, really love her but I could not. I'm such a hypocrite and what I'm doing right now is unfair to her and to everyone else. I've got no choice. I need to move on with my life but since the day that Nodame left me, my time has stopped moving.

"_Ahmmm…Shinichi, its not that I'm being nosy but how long will you be behaving like that? I mean you're acting like this every single day. Don't you get tired of it? I know that I don't have the right to know your private thoughts but Shinichi!"_

"_What! Saiko? What do you mean by that?"_

"_I know that you clearly know what I mean Shinichi…"_

"_Saiko, I think this is enough for now. Come again tomorrow."_

Chiaki stood up from the dining table and went to his bedroom. He closed the door.

Bang!

"_Shinichi! But you barely eaten the meal I cooked for you! Come on! Don't you know that I asked your mother's help just to cook this for you!"_

"_Leave me alone!"_

"_But!"_

"_Saiko please…just… let… me… be…"_

"_But Shinichi! It's already been 5 years! 5 years Shinichi!_

_Ah! I'm sorry Shinichi. I didn't mean to say that…"_

"_I know that its already been 5 years. You don't need to say that to my face!"_

"_Shinichi…"_

There was a moment of silence. To us, this silence reminds us of the present and the harsh reality that Saiko must accept helplessly.

"_For a moment, I thought that I have become closer to you. Guess I was wrong, huh?"_

I feel pity for Saiko. I know she's trying her best for me. She only wants me to be happy but I just couldn't end things just like that. And that awareness is like a wake up call of all of our pain and suffering, and evidence that what we had before are remnants of the past.

"_Shinichi…_

_Can I ask you a question before I go?"_

"_What's that?"_

"_Did you ever love me?"_

"_(Sighs) Yes…"_

"_But why can't I feel that Shinichi?"_

The present is just too much to bear between us. Slowly were becoming strangers… to ourselves…

"_All these years I've put my effort in getting closer to you, yet I already knew that no matter what I do, still she's the only one for you._

_I hope that some day…some day…you will open up your heart… to me…and give me a second chance…give our love a chance…"_

I could hear her footsteps fading as Saiko went out of the door. The door creaks slowly while I was listening to her plea.

"_Take care always Shinichi…_

_Goodbye…_

_And don't forget…that I love you…always…"_

I'm a terrible person. I know that what Saiko said to me just now was correct, yet I don't want to believe her words. Deep inside, I still don't have the courage to accept reality – the reality that Nodame no longer exist in this world. I do really want to change, but in order to do that, I must let go of everything that connects me to Nodame. I can't do that. It's too much to ask. It's like I'm insulting her existence. To me, the memories that we shared are so precious, it's akin to an oasis in the desert. I don't want Nodame's memories to become dead because her memories are still burning in my heart. For me, Nodame is still alive.

Everything began on that day, as I try to remember all the details. What happened on that fateful day was still fresh in my mind. I could clearly imagine the scenarios that were eternally etched in my mind. The day that I never hoped that would come to us.

**Age: Shinichi Chiaki, 27 years old; Noda Megumi, 27 years old**

_**Saturday, 13**__**th**__** of February, year 2010**_

I couldn't understand why it is a need to celebrate Valentine's Day. It's really a bother because buying a gift for Nodame seems to be an obligation. Indeed, I suck at choosing gifts for her since I really don't know what she really wants. To me, Valentine's Day is a commercialized holiday and has become a common practice for couples. Why can't she understand that we can spend each day as special and treat every day like Valentine's Day. Who needs Valentine's Day anyway? Geez, I can't understand women's thinking. Then again, I keep remembering the conversation we had on the phone.

"_Hello this is Nodame. I'm very sorry but currently Nodame is unavailable. Please try to call later. Goodbye!"_

"_Oi! Hey wait up! Nodame! Nodame don't hang up! This is Chiaki! Nodame? Are you still there? Oi!"_

"_Huh? Chiaki sempai?_

_Hmmm…_

_Aaaahhh! Hubby! __ How are you? __ Is everything alright? Heehee…"_

"_Nodame are you drinking right now? I told you not to touch sake. Even for a sip, you got that?"_

"_Nonsense! What are you talking about? I have never touched nor took a sip of sake._

_Ne, Masumi-san give me that! It's my turn already!_

_(Glug! Glug! Glug!)_

_Ah! Hic! Cheers! Heehee…"_

Aaarghh…What does she mean she never touched nor took a sip of sake? It's very clear to me that she's drunk! That woman will never change!

"_Nodame, listen. I'm strolling at Boulevard Haussmann, one of Paris' top department stores shopping district. Right now, I'm inside __Galleries Lafayette Coupole. I researched for the best designer jewelry and found it – Baccarat. I happen to pass by and at this time, I'm looking at their inventories. If you like, I'll buy you a gift for Valentine's Day. Tell me what do you want?"_

Now, why am I getting so nervous all of a sudden. I'm just keeping my promise. I'm going to buy an engagement ring and I will somehow pop out my proposal tomorrow to celebrate our recent debut as the _'Golden Pair.'_ Has it already been 2 years? I think this is now the right time to do that.

"_What does Nodame want? Hic! Wait sempai…_

_Hmmm…_

_Nodame only desire you…_

_Only you…_

_Shinichi…"_

"_Nodame! What are you doing? You're drooling! Your phone! Aaack! The phone is wet with your saliva! It's all over the place! Huh? Nodame! What's with that face? Don't you dare go and vomit to me!"_

"_Nodame doesn't feel good…Masumi-san? Sorry but…(vomit sounds)"_

"_Aaaahh! Kiyora! Help me! Nodame how could you? I didn't bring some extra clothes. Sheesh…Now I understand what's Chiaki have undergone because of you…"_

I can hear Masumi-san's voice on the phone. Seems like they're really having fun. I wish I can be with them right now but my hectic schedule won't allow for any luxury.

"_Hey! Masumi! How's life being a part of Philadelphia orchestra. I've heard from Mine that you're getting quite famous there. They even called you the 'Lovely Rose Timpanist' "._

"_Aaaahh! Chiaki-sama! So you've heard? Aaaahh! Yeah! The concertmaster gave me that name because he told me that I was the only rose among the thorns! Kyaaa!"_

Masumi-san also has never changed. Every one is still the same. I'm glad that I have met everyone.

"_Masumi! Is that Chiaki on the phone now? Can I have a __chitchat with my best man!"_

Masumi-san handed the phone to Mine-kun and went immediately to the washroom to rinse off the puke Nodame made.

"_Yo! How dare you only send emails to me! Didn't we agree to send me letters?"_

"_Who told you that I agreed on that? And what's wrong with sending emails? It's just the same."_

"_Chiaki, I prefer letters because I can read your thoughts written on a piece of paper and the emotions are there, that I can't help getting a bit teary eyed. Plus, it's your handwriting, Chiaki…"_

"_Will you cut it out! Enough with the sending-letters-and-emails stuff. By the way, I just want to congratulate you both. So how's the engagement party? I'm sorry I can't be with you guys, if only I could. It's because Elise already accepted those requests without my consent that got my schedule to be jam-packed."_

"_Nah…It's really alright man. You don't have to apologize. We understand. Its fine since Nodame is here with us, so it's kind of like you're here with us, too."_

"_Chiaki, how's it going between you and Nodame? Have you popped the big 'P' word to her? Its kind of sad that you've never gave her a reply at that day, you know. Nodame was really devastated."_

"_Mine you don't need to bring up the past. I know. I was wrong, thinking she was just playing around as usual. It never crossed my mind that she was dead serious at that time. So tomorrow I'm going to reconsider her proposal by officially proposing to her and give this engagement ring to her as proof of my undying love and sincerity."_

"_Oooohh! What the hell was that? Chiaki what bold words! How come I have never seen this side of you? You're actually a sensitive and emotional guy, eh?"_

"_Eherm! I don't know what you're talking about?"_

"_Aww! Come on, Chiaki! You don't need to hide the fact that you're totally head-over-heels towards Nodame and your feelings for her are overflowing. It's so obvious!"_

"_Just shut up!"_

"_Pffft! Hahaha! Chiaki you sly boy! Ok! Ok! I'm going to stop teasing you, though I find it quite entertaining! Hahaha! You're really something!"_

"_Mine stop that will yah? I'm sorry Chiaki. He's been acting weird these past few days. It's like he's been taking drugs."_

After Kiyora finished taking care of Nodame, she went to Mine to talk to Chiaki. It has been a while since Chiaki has talked with his friends.

"_Kiyora! Why can't you understand? I'm just feeling euphoric these days because were finally getting closer to our final destination – to our marriage. I doubt you're not feeling what I'm feeling right now?"_

"_Yeah…we feel the same. So Chiaki when will you propose to Nodame? You better be! I and Mine are rooting for the both of you so we wish you good luck!"_

"_Chiaki my man! Don't be late for the race because you're going to catch up with us! What are you waiting for? Run faster towards your goal!"_

"_Thanks for the encouragement guys. This time I'm really going to do it, for sure. Well bye!"_

Suddenly, I'm having mixed feelings – I'm feeling anxious and excited of my proposal to Nodame. I can't wait to see Nodame and hug her tight and whisper 'I love you.' Starting tomorrow, everything will change as we begin a new chapter of our lives. Until that incident happened…

_This chapter is about how Chiaki deals with the sudden loss of Nodame and how he expresses his grief. He undergoes internal turmoil as he desperately tries his best to cope up with the present circumstances._

* * *

**CHAPTER 2 GOODBYE, MY LOVE**

* * *

**Chiaki's Point of View:  
**

**Age: Shinichi Chiaki, 27 years old; Noda Megumi, 27 years old**

**_Saturday, 6th of February, year 2010_**

It is an ordinary morning, nothing special is going on. Everything seems so peaceful. I can hear someone playing Edvard Grieg's Peer Gynt, Suite No. 1, Op. 46: _'Morning Mood'_ on the piano. This piece takes me back to my memory lane, Edvard Grieg is best known for his Piano Concerto in A minor, for his incidental music to Henrik Ibsen's play Peer Gynt. Hearing that piece somehow relaxes my mind. I'm having a lucid dream, as I watch myself soaring over the great blue sky with the birds. The clouds are within my grasp while I'm breathing the air that surrounds me, it feels so invigorating. Nevertheless, something is peculiar, with how it is played, in some way it reminds me of Nodame.

_"Nodame?"_

_"Huh? Chiaki sempai? Did you just call Nodame?"_

Nodame is playing the piece beautifully. The way she plays it now is entirely on a different level, than when we first met inJapan. I have witnessed Nodame's metamorphosis, from a caterpillar that undergoes the chrysalis stage, and finally becoming an exquisite butterfly.

_"Yes. Nodame don't you have any piano recitals today? How about your approaching piano concertos?"_

_"Do you mean our piano concerto Chiaki sempai?"_

While Nodame is saying that I can see her radiant smile. Looks like I have been caught.

_"What do you mean our piano concerto? Where did you hear that?"_

_"Chiaki sempai you're wrong! It's not where did you hear that, it's you who actually said that. Don't you remember what we had talked last night? Hmph! You meanie!"_

Nodame was pouting because I had easily forgotten our tête-à-tête last night. You see, Nodame and I are having recollections of the events that have transpired on that day because what happened on that day was memorable to both of us. We achieved the success of our first piano concerto and our grand debut as the _'Golden Pair'_. We made our piano concerto a Christmas special, featuring Pyotr Il'yich Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker Suite, Op.71:

1. Overture

Act I

2. The Christmas Tree

3. March

4. Gallop and Dance of the Parents

5. Dance Scene - The Presents of Drosselmeyer

6. Scene - Grandfather Dance

7. Clara and the Nutcracker

8. The Nutcracker battles against the Army of the Mouse King - He wins and is transformed into Prince Charming

9. In the Christmas Tree

10. Scene and Waltz of the Snowflakes

Act II

11. TheMagicCastleon theMountainofSweets

12. Clara and Prince Charming

13. Character Dances (Divertissement):

Coffee (Arabian Dance)Tea (Chinese Dance)Trepak (Russian Dance)Dance of the Reed Pipes

14. Waltz of the Flowers

15. Dance of the SugarPlumFairy

16. Closing Waltz - Grand Finale

We performed together with the Roux-Marlet Orchestra and it lasted for a whole day. Our piano concerto was always fully booked and it became so popular with the crowd that they appealed to us to make it three days. Only Nodame strongly rejected to the idea, thinking that it was outrageous, but Nodame quickly changes her mind after hearing the audiences' praises about her magnificent piano playing.

Maybe this was not a bad idea after all. I thought everything would go to waste. I was thinking that our piano concerto was too early and Nodame was not yet prepared for it.

_"Nodame, its best to think things over. Don't let your emotions override you. Our piano concerto should be planned first."_

_"But sempai when will we be able to do it? Does sempai know what Nodame felt when Nodame knew that you and Son Rui are going to have a piano concerto? Nodame was jealous sempai…jealous that your first piano concerto was not Nodame but her!"_

_"Nodame I think we should…"_

_"Sempai, Nodame knows that Nodame is being selfish right now but if you won't do this, what's the use of the promise we made back then? Why do you always run away from these things sempai? Nodame can't wait any longer!"_

_"Nodame…its just that…I think we should not rush things. I don't think we can do it yet. Nodame, I don't want to disappoint you. I don't want our piano concerto to be a failure. I'm sorry Nodame…"_

I don't want to do it because I felt I don't have enough confidence to face this challenge. I was also afraid that Nodame won't accept me if I failed her expectations.

_"Sorry? Chiaki sempai you should not lose faith. Are you having doubts that we could not make it together? Sempai, for once, Nodame never thought of that to happen. Nodame have always believed in sempai."_

_"Nodame…"_

Suddenly, Nodame embraced Chiaki tightly. Chiaki could feel the warmth emanating from her body, the gush of air she breathes, the scent of shampoo in her hair. Chiaki was overwhelmed by his own sensations of Nodame and at the same time he felt at ease, somehow Nodame's embrace became Chiaki's solace.

_"No matter what happens, Nodame won't change._

_ Chiaki sempai…I love you…"_

When Nodame uttered those words, all of my fears and insecurities vanished. I realized that all of my actions and decisions in my life, were greatly influenced by Nodame. She was everything to me...


End file.
